Obama-Biden...McCain-Palin...Election 2008!: February 2009

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Three Reasons Why We Should Support Rush Limbaugh

That's right. Please, PLEASE let this snorting, revolting pig be the leader of the conservative movement, and the Republican Party, now and forever. Please do! The more power that Rush's flock of mindless, bleating sheep give him -- while at the same time pretending the monstrous incompetence of the last eight years were a bad dream, and that George W. Bush, the most right-wing president in U.S. history, never existed -- the better for us.

This is what a party that cares about nothing but its own power, for whom no measure of power can ever be enough, looks like when it has none...and it is far from pretty. Far be it from them, in their titanic arrogance and selective amnesia, to explain or even acknowledge -- much less apologize for -- the Bush presidency. Forget about wiping the slate clean; to them, there is no slate. George W. Bush? Who's that? Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld? Never heard of 'em.

No, to hear Limbaugh tell it, it's Barack Obama, John Kerry, Al Gore and the "Democrat Party" who've been in power all these years, and the Republicans simply want a fair shot after being disenfranchised and marginalized by those power-mad liberals, with their chokehold on an innocent electorate. Ah, the conservative movement...that poor, besieged, victimized minority. They've been denied for so long; if only we'd give them a chance to take back the country. Because really, why should the other team (you know, the team that won last November by nine million votes) be given a chance to play? In fact, when the Republicans obviously have all the answers, why should we have a two-party system at all? That's not what America is about, that "democracy" stuff!

And yet: the more often that Limbaugh, this vile embodiment of the conservative id, is unleashed for the wider world to behold in all his rancid ugliness and paranoid delusion...the better for America.

Because here's what the bovine yahoos in his vast wasteland of an audience, those "ditto-heads" who ask nothing more of their Great Leader than to be told exactly what to think, are too simple-minded to understand: Rush Limbaugh is not running for national office. Or for any office, except Gasbag-in-Chief. So the more they hold this raving, authoritarian egomaniac up as their standard-bearer -- and the more he gleefully, and profitably, enforces his own standard of insane ideological purity -- the less chance there is that any actual candidate they deign to nominate will be able to measure up. At this late date, the holy spirit of St. Ronnie himself would be vilified as a big-government tax-and-spender by these fanatics.

All of this, my friends, is good for those of us here in the reality- based community. All we need is for them to keep showing their true colors, shouting in their little white-bread echo chamber.

So let's join together and raise our voices for a big three cheers:

Rush! Rush! Rush! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

P.S. -- If Rush does end up running for office? Then the party really starts!